i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
