I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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