My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
