So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize