I want to stick my p in your. b.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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