It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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