Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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