and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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