talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
