Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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