Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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