I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
