She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
