There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
