I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
