Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
