we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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