Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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