i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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