I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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