We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
