Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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