apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The air was thick with penises
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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