it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
