got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
