I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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