she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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