As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize