I'm eating all of the evidence.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
