ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize