weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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