My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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