Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
how drunk are you?
Several
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
