pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
