I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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