I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
