I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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