the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Damn victory sex feels great
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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