Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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