i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize