I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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