It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
