when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I will die if light touches me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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