He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
