Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
