we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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