Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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