They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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