In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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