Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I'm in Tiajuana

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I could be

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  (706): I think I'm in Tiajuana (404): You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago (706): I could be http://tfl.nu/4kta
  Replies (13) Good night (2310) Bad night (798)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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  (908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers http://tfl.nu/97ey
  Replies (15) Good night (25048) Bad night (1205)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

  (847): View more from Illinois

  details on that.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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  (312): dude, your ex-bf is on match.com (847): details on that. (312): well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes. http://tfl.nu/50kk
  Replies (6) Good night (2207) Bad night (1043)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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  (956): im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober. http://tfl.nu/pinp
  Replies (10) Good night (2730) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me

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  (256): He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me http://tfl.nu/nz3h
  Replies (11) Good night (749) Bad night (5419)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

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  (219): I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/t98c
  Replies (2) Good night (1998) Bad night (950)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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  (513): I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means? http://tfl.nu/ni5g
  Replies (12) Good night (4185) Bad night (1085)
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  (951): View more from California

  It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.

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  (951): It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle. http://tfl.nu/s5be
  Replies (15) Good night (1115) Bad night (3811)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.

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  (316): I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants. http://tfl.nu/tqrn
  Replies (5) Good night (2663) Bad night (960)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.

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  (406): Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life. http://tfl.nu/9594
  Replies (12) Good night (1304) Bad night (750)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods

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  (206): That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods http://tfl.nu/achd
  Replies (6) Good night (3719) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked

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  (734): Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked http://tfl.nu/0uzi
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss

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  (315): Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought (1-315): Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss http://tfl.nu/2a6b
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex

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  (315): i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex http://tfl.nu/a41g
  Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (342)

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