If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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