if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
pray to the hookup gods
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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