hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
