last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
