I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
