Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize